I have a real love/hate relationship with driving. On the one hand I love the freedom that driving can give you: no more need to rely on busses or trains that never seem to turn up on time and you can just random decide to go on a road trip to the coast, rather than having to research travel times and buy 6 different tickets in advance!
On the other hand I absolutely hate driving, it causes me so much stress and anxiety! Not so much about driving myself (I can take pride that I am actually a really good, safe driver) but because of the amount of idiots and arseholes on the roads! I honestly don’t know what the point in having a driving test is, it seems people don’t bother to actually stick to the rules once they pass!
Diving with anxiety is pretty tough. I’ve been learning for 6 months now and in the last two months I’ve improved so much! My instructor says I need to get my theory taken asap as I’m actually almost ready to take my test.
While I’m super excited about actually passing, the thought of the test scares the crap out of me! Being on the spectrum means that I’m shocking in test conditions, my brain just fucks off and goes “nope, you deal with this”. It’s why I was predicted A’s and A*’s at school but only left with B’s and C’s, because when I got into the exam my brain just stopped working.
Plus the test is going to cost a ridiculous sum of money to take and I don’t want to take it until I’m confident I’ll pass first time.
I won’t be able to afford to do it again.
Do I think I could pass? Yes I do, if only my anxiety would keep quiet for an hour. Fat chance of that happening!
It can’t just be me who has thoughts like this while driving is it?
I sounds so daft but I honestly panic that, even though I’m looking right at the traffic light and can clearly see it’s on red, it’s actually on green and I’m imagining things…
Even when you could fit a marching brass band through a gap, I’m always worrying that actually I won’t be able to get through and I’ll crash the car and kill someone. Totally not being melodramatic. Nope. Not at all.
Chris does this one too so I know it’s not just me! Whenever I get close to a junction I instantly start to slow down and panic that they’re going to risk it and pull out. This one isn’t even unfounded anxiety, it’s happened to me so often while I’ve been learning. Plus me and chris were nearly in an accident last month when some stupid woman pulled out of a blind junction without even looking! Thank goodness chris was doing the speed limit and reacted instantly or she’d have gone straight into my side of the car! He still freaks out whenever we go near that same junction.
I swear I spend more time watching my speed than I do the actual road sometime! I don’t really see the point to speed limits anyway, no one sticks to them. There’s one street near me where it’s 30 the whole way and every single person drives down it at 40. When I go down it at 30 for my lesson I cause a huge queue to form behind me and I get some right looks when people go to overtake me.
What do you get anxious about when you’re driving?
Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest
A twenty-four-year-old autistic writer and designer from Sheffield. Tattoo obsessed, animal lover, self confessed bookworm and eclectic witch.
I don’t have anxiety typically but an immense fear of heights. I have almost had panic attacks while driving over bridges. I try to calm myself down but it is not easy. I have been in an accident where someone pulled out without paying attention so I get anxious about that also. People can drive so ridiculous and other people have to be super careful!
Oh I’m so sorry to hear that! 🙁 my boyfriends been in two so I know the long term impact it can have 🙁 I never thought of people with heights having problems with bridges! Might have to add a paragraph about that 🙂
I can totally relate. I get anxiety when I’m driving to somewhere I’ve never been before. I usually make my husband drive if I can!! 🙂
Glad I’m not the only one! 🙂 Honestly think that once I’ve passed I’m just going to continue letting chris drive me everywhere 😂
As someone diagnosed with anxiety, driving can be a difficult task. I often predict every possible worst-case-scenario that could happen at every given moment. I know what angles I could be hit at that would injure my children. I’m never really worried about myself (I guess that comes with the depression) but I’m always afraid that my children will be hurt and that I won’t be able to cope.
From writing this article and thinking it was just me, it’s seems almost everyone with anxiety does things like that 🙁 your biggest instinct is to protect your kids so I’m not surprised that’s what your anxiety targets 🙁
I just recently passed my driving test and oh my god was I anxious about it! I completely see what you’re saying about not being necessarily scared of your own driving, but of the idiots on the road. And the whole imaging red light thing, I thought I was the only one! Definitely related to this post!
-Sophie xx
Cherries & Perfume
Congratulations hun! 🙂 I passed mine back in October and I was petrified! I think the only reason I passed is because I thought I’d failed after the first ten minutes or so and just relaxed for the rest of it haha and I thought I was the only one with the red light thing too- glad to know I’m not!xx
I definitely look at my speed a lot esp when I’m on a highway and yoooo the lights freak me out sometimes 😩 I’m glad it’s not just me. Great post!
xx Lena | https://lenadeexo.com
I freak out so much with speed its ridiculous! Also I’m glad its not just me with the lights haha thank you! 🙂 xx