Dear Diary

Dear Diary; The Recovery One

Okay so I’m feeling slightly indecisive right now; I’ve noticed that these Dear Diary types of posts don’t get as many views compared to my other posts. Yet I’m running a poll on Twitter at the moment on if I should keep doing them and the answer is predominantly to keep them, so I’m not sure what to do.

If you want to help a gal out and vote on how you feel about these types of posts then head over onto my Twitter, the poll is my pinned tweet or you can click here and it will take you straight to it.

However until I decide one way or the other I’ll get into what I’ve been doing this week which, in a nutshell, is recovering from my bank holiday weekend in London!

I’m an introvert who loves to socialize, which is really annoying. I love to travel and be out and about but being out in public tires me out so badly! I can only last a few hours before I start to feel drained, irritable & anxious and this isn’t helped with having social anxiety too. So while I had an amazing time in London and can’t wait to go back next year, it has really taken a lot out of me- more than I like to admit.

Dear Diary; The Recovery One

I spent Tuesday to Thursday pretty much hiding in bed, enjoying the seclusion and aloneness after the chaotic mass of humans that is London! We were meant to be going and seeing Busted on Friday over in Scarborough but we decided not to in the end. I’m not going to go into more detail as it involves things that aren’t mine to talk about but let’s just say it was for the best.

This was only decided Friday morning and since I was already up and dressed I decided to go up to the charity shop and help out for the day. In case you didn’t know my mum is the manager up there so I can go up whenever I like, she never turns down extra help. Its also been helping me socialise and leave the house more and I have to say it’s been working pretty well.

Anyway…it was a good job I decided to go up as it was none stop donations and sales all day; even with me on the till and my parents sorting through the donations, we were still rushed off our feet all day!

When I came home I had a lovely surprise waiting for me- my prize from Alys George’s first ever giveaway! If you don’t follow her then you need to, she’s an awesome blogger and a lovely lady. You can find her on Twitter, Instagram and on her Blog.

I’m not going to go into everything I got as I’m going to write a separate post on that early next week but let’s just say there was some lovely goodies in there and I am so grateful to have won them! I’ve not got round to trying everything out yet but the few bit that I have tried I am in love with and can’t wait to tell you about them.

Saturday I popped into Meadowhall with ForAllThatWander for a few hours and did a little bit of shopping. I needed to pick up some more foundation and as luck would have it, theres a three for two offer on at The Body Shop right now!

I also had a £5 voucher on my rewards card so this equaled a very happy Jade. I’ve been wanting to try liquid liner again as I currently use Benefits They’re Real Push Up Liner, which is great but I want something that isn’t going to break the bank for daily wear! I decided to try out the one from The Body Shop and also pick up more more cotton pads, I’ve started going through so many since I upped my Skincare Routine last month! I’ve not tried either product yet but let me know if you’re interested and I’ll do a first impressions post next week.

Photo 04-09-2016, 08 28 18

Now I couldn’t go to Meadowhall and not buy myself a Starbucks; It’s like my little treat to myself for not freaking out while there…or hitting anyone! I would love to see what all the fuss is about with pumpkin spiced lattes but my mum had a severely allergic reaction to either pumpkin, flack seeds or echinacea and until we know which it is I daren’t try one. We usually have the same allergies which is useful!

Of course the one day I don’t take a brolly or a coat with me is the one day is the day we get a huge downpour of rain! Luckily I don’t live too far away from the train station so I could just speed walk back home. However something really annoying happened a few hours after I got home- I had an unexplained panic attack.

Now in all honesty I’ve not had a full blown panic attack for quite a while. I get anxiety attacks on a semi regular basis but I personally class panic attacks as a lot more intense and debilitating. Full on shaking, feeling sick, can’t breath, pins and needles…you get the drift. I usually can’t think either, my brain just sort of fucks off and leaves behind an empty space and something similar to the old dialing tone… Not helpful! Where as with anxiety attacks, I can usually logic my way out of the situation and I only slightly shake, sweat and struggle to breathe. I’ve learnt to cope with and work around them basically.

So not only was it worse than I’ve used to lately but also I have no idea what set it off! I was just sat at home reading, when suddenly I started with all the aforementioned symptoms. No trigger that I can think of.

Fun!

I went up to my room and did what sometimes works for me in these kind of situations; took all my makeup off and did my skincare routine. I know it’s a bit strange but doing something that is a routine and I don’t really have to think about helps to calm me down. When I panic I need to just let my brain reset itself in a way and doing this is a great way for me to relax and reboot. It really helped to calm me down and the panic attack only lasted about half an hour in total; I still haven’t figured out what set it off which slightly scares me in case it happens again but worrying about it won’t help- if anything it will make things worse!

So that’s it. It’s been a pretty quiet week and I don’t really have much planned for next week too- this is going to be the calm before the storm. I got my induction timetable for Sheffield and that starts on the 19th so I’m enjoying the last bit of free time that I’ll probably have for the next year!

Don’t forget to let me know what you think about these posts over on my Twitter poll, I’d really appreciate it as I’m so indecisive!

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5 Comments

  1. beccann33

    September 4, 2016 at 10:14 am

    Loved this post! I haven’t had a full blown panic attack for 2 years now although I still get very anxious but like you said i can now get around it more. Each day is a learning curve with anxiety and over time we learn how to deal with it. If you ever want a chat my social media @ is @beccaonblog (that’s my twitter and Instagram).
    Again, what a wonderful post and keep up the hard work!
    Becca xx
    http://www.beccasloveforlife.blogspot.co.uk

  2. Jade Marie

    September 4, 2016 at 10:21 am

    I’m so glad you’ve not had one in so long! I wouldn’t wish one on my worst enemy, they’re horrible! 😔 in a strange way it’s nice to know that other people understand what I mean when I say anxiety and panic attacks are different! Thank you Hun, I’ve just seen you follow me and I’ll be following you back in a second 🙂 xx

  3. beccann33

    September 4, 2016 at 10:25 am

    Yh, I class anxiety and panic attacks as different things. Yes I have anxiety attacks that have the same symptoms as panic attacks but they last for like 5 minutes and then I have worked my way out of them and for me a panic attack lasts from 30 minutes to 2 hours

  4. Jade Marie

    September 4, 2016 at 10:28 am

    I think everyone’s symptoms are different too, no two people will have the same panic/anxiety attack

What are your thoughts? Let me know!