Dear Diary

Dear Diary: I’M GOING TO SEE BILLY CONNOLLY!!

I’m a tad excited, can you tell?

But I’ll get to that later or I can guarantee I’ll forget what I’ve done for the rest of the week!

*EDIT: Get yourself a cuppa, this is a long one!*

Well once again we started the week with no Game of Thrones *sobs* and still no sign of when the next book is going to be released. Mondays have now gone back to being boring and unwelcome once again.

Dear Diary: I'M GOING TO SEE BILLY CONNOLLY!!

Tuesday was the big day; I went to pick up my uni results! I’m so happy to say that I got a Distinction for my Final Major Project and a Merit overall! While I’m a little disappointed with the overall grade of a Merit I later found out that there was nothing I could have done, as it works on an average over all you’re units, and as I got all Merits last year there was nothing I could have done this year to boost my grade as I had only 7 units this year.

However just after this disappointment came some absolutely amazing news- My app has been picked to be put up in a real exhibition in September!! 

I was so shocked I actually thought my tutor was joking and it took me a few minutes to actually believe him. I’ve always been very self-critical but never more so when I started uni. Personally I don’t think I’m particularly good at Graphic Design, I struggle creating even the simplest of vectors and coming up with creative and original ideas has never been my strong point. I can’t remember if I’ve already mentioned this on here but I didn’t want to do Graphic Design as my career, there was a set of circumstances that I won’t go into (since people who know me in real life read this and some of them know the person involved in this story) and I ended up not taking A Levels like I planned to become either a journalist or a criminal psychologist (and yes, that career path was inspired by watching too much criminal minds).

However out of the bad comes good and I’ve finally been able to design and create a prototype of my mental health app, which is an idea I’ve had for years but never known how to go about doing. I’m now hopefully going to be progressing onto an Enterprise and Entrepreneurial Degree so I can take my app further and actually get it made and on the market!

Photo 24-07-2016, 09 14 04.jpg

As you may have seen, on Thursday I wrote a post about my NYX Lip Lingerie Letdown (you can read it HERE if you didn’t catch it) and it actually became my most popular post to date! Well I phones up Boots head office and got a lovely lady who was very sympathetic, saying that it wasn’t what you expected from the brand at all and that I should take it back asap and ask for an exchange or a refund. Now as I’ve mentioned before, going out just to the local corner shop on my own is difficult for me, let alone a huge place bound to be full of people like Meadowhall! I honestly get so pissed off with myself when I can’t do the things I want to. People say “there’s nothing to panic over” or “I don’t know why you’re panicking” but the truth is; neither do I! I know that there isn’t any logical reason to panic! I know that, but it doesn’t stop my brain from having a meltdown every time I so much as think about leaving the house! The worst thing about anxiety is knowing that there’s no reason to be like this, remembering that you used to be able to do things like this and that once you’ve done it you’ll feel absolutely f*cking fantastic…right until the next time you have to leave the house.

However after sitting on the floor for over an hour with my brain refusing to move my body and start getting dressed, I managed to trick myself into getting ready. It’s a strange technique I use and it probably won’t make any sense to anyone else but I basically distract myself and then, little by little, start doing whatever I need to do. So I started playing Destiny (a xbox game) and after completing what I needed to do for each bounty I’d put a piece of clothing on, without really thinking about it consciously. Achieving things in that game always gives me a little bit of an adrenaline boost and so the second I finished I quickly grabbed my bag, put my shoes on and ran out of the door- almost before my brain realised what I was doing. I only live a few minutes walk from the train station and it’s actually a Pokestop so I put a lure down and kept myself occupied playing Pokemone Go until the train came.

Once I got there I went straight to Boots and up to the NYX counter. I always feel super self-conscious when I go to places like that, as the women that work there are so much prettier than me and I feel like a potato when I’m stood next to them. However when I explained what was wrong with the product she was so kind and helpful, saying that of course I should have come back to replace it as it’s not up to standard. She asked what I wanted to do and I said that I still wanted to try the product out but not in that shade as I didn’t trust it anymore, but that I still wanted a nude colour. She went over and got me the next colour up (06 Push-Up) which is pretty similar to Sandstorm in the Suede collection but is a little lighter and has a reddish tint to it.

I’m happy to say that I didn’t have a panic attack! I got a little flustered and anxious when I first approached the counter but after that I did really well, I even managed to eat alone in public which is another thing I’m trying to work on- Gold Star to me!

But now, onto the bit that I’m most excited about- I’M GOING TO SEE BILLY CONNOLLY LIVE IN NOVEMBER!!!! I have love this guy since I was about 11/12 years old and it has always been a dream of mine to see him live. He basically saved my life (yeah that kinda sounds melodramatic but it’s true). I was in a very dark place and I just could find anything good in my life, then one night I came down for something to drink and mum and dad were watching his 2002 Dublin tour on DVD.  I think my parents were considering pausing it while I was downstairs because of the language he uses but, to be fair, if they can let me read Martina Cole books when I was 10 then it would be slightly hypocritical of them to say I couldn’t watch this! Anyway they didn’t pause it luckily. The sketch he was doing was about him have “abandonment issues” and within seconds I had tears in my eyes from laughing. I’m not exaggerating when I say that was the first time I’d laughed (or even properly smiled) in months and it kickstarted my road to recovery. I begged my mum to let my borrow the DVD whenever I started feeling down again and soon I knew the tour off by heart, but no matter how many times I watched it, it always helped to put me back on the right path.

It’s actually a technique I still use to this day and it’s never failed me yet!

I’m going to see him on the 13th which is 5 days before my birthday (18th) and then on the 19th I’m off to see Walking on Cars again for the 3rd time!! This is honestly going to be the best birthday week ever and after a horrendous start it seems 2o16 is finally starting to pick up for me!

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3 Comments

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    July 27, 2016 at 9:07 am

    […] Dear Diary: I’M GOING TO SEE BILLY CONNOLLY!! […]

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    August 4, 2016 at 6:54 am

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    November 13, 2016 at 9:52 am

    […] man quite literally saved my life, I wrote a post about that the day after I bought the tickets [Dear Diary: I’m going to see Billy Connolly] which you can have a noise at if you’re […]

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