Learning To Accept Who I Really Am- #ILiveItIBlogIt
Fair warning: this is one of those really rambling posts that I just sort of wrote, rather than planned out in advance. If it doesn’t seem to make much sense- sorry in advance!
One of the main problems with blogging is that there seems to be this expectation for everyone to be exactly the same. Everyone should love the same things, write about the same products, have the same opinions…the list just goes on.
I went through a stage of trying to be like that and it nearly made me quit blogging all together! I’m not a “typical” blogger– I have no interest in half the things that I’m supposed to according to society. I’ve never used a Lush bath bomb, I couldn’t care less about the John Lewis advert coming out, I absolutely detest rom-cons, don’t watch soaps or reality tv and I’ve never eaten avocado on toast.
However I love marvel/action films, I’m a huge gamer and I’m actually pretty damn good at it despite all the sexism that still exists in the gaming community, I’ll happily spend all day watching programs to do with serial killers and murderers, I love to blast out Five Finger Death Punch while head banging in the shower and I don’t eat healthily at all. You’ll regularly find me eating my body weight in chocolate or pizza, usually with a big cup of coffee and a book under my nose.
And you know what? THAT OKAY! Everyone is different. Everyone lives different lives. So that means everyone’s blog/vlog/social media is going to be different!!
There is no right or wrong way to do it. My photography isn’t anything fantastic, I don’t have all of the latest products and tends and I don’t stick to a blogging schedule. If the people you surround yourself with now don’t accept and embrace that, then it’s time to find some people who do.
I’m finally at a point in my life where I feel I can be the real me. I’ll never be popular (online or in real life), but I’ll never be one of those people who can live on their phones 24/7 taking to people all the time. That’s not me. And I’m completely fine with that!
I’ve never shown this on the internet before but I’m going to now for this campaign: ever wonder why I don’t smile in any of my photos? It’s because I have this monstrosity of a tooth sticking half way out of my mouth!
The photo was taken by Chris while we were shooting some photos of my new hair and makeup look. He took this while I was laughing at something he’d done (I can’t even remember what) and while my first reaction was to delete it, he convinced me to keep it. I’m glad he did.
It’s actually taken a lot of courage to put this photo on the Internet!
I’ve had it since I was 8 years old and for some reason the dentists wouldn’t give me braces to get it fixed. I absolutely hate it, I think it’s horrible and it’s caused me years of depression. I’ve spent most of my life with my hand in front of my mouth every time I laugh or smile, thanks to the bullies who tormented me about it throughout my school life.
Well not any more! I’m determined to stop worrying about what other people are going to think/say if they see it. Don’t like it? Then get the fuck out of my space because I don’t need your negativity ass in it!
Yes of course I’m still hoping my current dentist can get me referred for braces to get it fixed, it causes me physical pain and discomfort daily which I’d happily get rid of. But if she can’t? I’ll live.
This campaign celebrates the diversity in blogging, something we definitely need to do more of! I regularly look at other people’s social media and feel crap because I’m not as thin/pretty/popular/successfully/whatever as they are. But the thing to remember is this: people only ever post the best bits of their lives on social media. Most people won’t talk about the bad and I pride myself that that is something I try and do. I don’t try to paint my life as perfect- hell as a mental health blogger people tend to hear more about the bad than the good in my life!
But that is me.
I try to be the flip side to all of the “perfect” blogs- to talk about not even knowing what an eyebrow pencil was until I was 21 or that I spent a whole week so depressed I didn’t even have the energy to shower and brush my teeth some days.
It’s not pretty. It’s not glamorous. It’s real life and I’m proud of my little corner of the internet!