Oh hi remember me? It’s been so long since I last got a post up that you could be forgiven for forgetting who I am!
My life has been one huge mess for the past month and it’s only going to get worse through April. In case you don’t follow me on Twitter and haven’t seen what’s been going on, I thought I’d do a little life update post to explain why I’ve all but disappeared off the face off the earth recently.
Get ready for a brain-dump post because I can imagine thats what this is going to be…
Well first off, my mental health has taken a real nose dive recently as I’m currently in the last month of my university degree and its deadline season!
I’ve been so busy trying to get three different projects finished that I’ve had no time for anything else; which is why the blog has unfortunately had to take a back seat. I’ve also not had any time to practice anything but the most basic self care, and even then my brain has been worrying about deadlines and how much I have left to do so it hasn’t really been relaxing or helpful.
Its got to the point where it’s effecting my sleep and I’ve had a near constant headache for the past week or so!
University hasn’t been a brilliant time for me if I’m being completely honest; it’s been a really lonely and stressful experience and in some ways, I won’t be sorry to be leaving. One of my most popular posts is actually all about why not everyone enjoys their time at university, so I guess I’m not the only one who doesn’t love the student life.
Although I’m not going to lie; I will miss my student discount!
At the same time I’m also terrified of leaving. It means I have decisions to make that I don’t really know if I’m in the right place mentally to make; decisions about my future.
I’ve spoken a lot on this blog about wanting to become self employed and I honestly see that as my only option where employment is concerned; I can’t cope with “regular” jobs because of my mental health. Most days I struggle to leave the house on my own and I can’t cope being around people for any length of time- both because of my anxiety and my autism.
The biggest problem that I would have if I went down that route is actually getting freelance jobs. I struggle with communication and outreach so much (a lot more than I allow to show on social media) and I think this would cause me a lot of problems getting sponsored posts and brand collaborations. I’ve had someone mention hiring a VA (virtual assistant) to do this for me, which I’m going to look into. I’m not sure if this is something they would do or if I’d be able to afford to front the cost until I was making a regular income, but it seems like something that would really help me so I want to look into it more.
My other option is to stay on and do a Journalism Masters. This is something I’ve been considering all year but I really can’t decide if it would be worth it, especially as I’d be getting myself in an extra £10,000 of debt!
I was originally going to go to the open day and talk to the tutors there, to see what they had to say about the course and how it could help me; but it happened to be on the day that the dreaded Beast From The East arrived and I ended up snowed in and couldn’t go.
The next one is in May so hopefully the weather will be a bit better and I’ll be able to actually get there this time!
I suppose theres also a third option; register myself as self employed and doing the Masters at the same time. That sounds like a meltdown waiting to happen, but at the same time it does give me a bit of a safety net; I’d have my student loan to live off of and I could save up any money that I made from freelancing to invest back into the business.
Actually just typing that has made me realise that’s probably the best option. I’ll just need to be a hell of a lot more organised and focused than I have been this year!
I did warn you this was going to be a brain-dump kind of post…
So yeah April is probably going to be a quiet one on my blog. I need to focus on getting all of my projects finished and handed in on time (hopefully getting Firsts after all this stress!) and then I’m probably going to take a week or so to myself to focus on my mental health.
I hope you all understand and stick with me through this time; I’ve got so many amazing things planned for May and I can’t wait to get back to blogging regularly- I’ve actually really missed it!