What I’ve Learnt From Being On Tinder

What I've Learnt From Tinder

Now Tinder is something I swore I would never use. I’ve just no interest in dating- hell I even wrote a post about The Perks of Being Single! I’d heard some right horror stories too and I just couldn’t be bothered with it all.

Buy my friends kept nagging at me to give it a try though and after a while I got fed up of them and downloaded it to shut them up. While it wasn’t half as bad as I expected it to be (probably because I was super picky with who I matched with) its still not something I’m interested in and it’s probably going to get deleted really soon.

To be fair, I’ve only had three bad experiences; one guy had a picture of his penis as his profile photo (and if thats the best looking part of him, I really pity him- I need a brain scrub after seeing that!!), one guy that I don’t even remember matching with messaging me clearly just wanting sex and finally one guy who waited ten days after matching with me to tell me I look like I have Down’s Syndrome. Lovely bloke, can see why he’s single.

But from all this I’ve learnt something that I never expected to; you are in control of the people in your life.

Now obviously there are people you can’t control like people you work with or the people at school with you, but even these you don’t have to talk to outside of those settings if you don’t want to. Both the guy wanting sex and the guy that tried to insult me I simply unmatched and that one act actually made me feel really empowered.

I don’t really know how to explain it better than that.

I realised that I could just delete them, didn’t even have to dignify their comments with an answer. Just delete and move on. It was an amazing feeling and it ended up seeping into other parts of my life; I went onto Facebook and deleted the people I had on there but didn’t actually want. The people I was only keeping them on there because I felt that I had to.

I also realised that I didn’t have to keep in contact with people that weren’t any good for me, even if they were supposed to be friends. There were people that were saying I was “weird” for some of the things I say or do and would say things that made me feel bad about myself. I decided that these aren’t the kind of people I need in my life anymore; I have enough voices in my head telling me that, I don’t need my so-called friends doing it too.

The same with people that only ever talked to me when they want something, I decided to delete their numbers and move on!

Photo 12-08-2016, 09 26 15

I can tell I’ve not blogged all week as this has turned into a bit of a rambly post and I’m actually finding it hard to write what I want to say!

The point I’m trying to make is that you should never feel like you have to keep someone in your life that isn’t building it up. If someone is bringing you down then you need to think about why you’re allowing them into your lives.

One of my friends has given me permission to blog about her experience with a seriously toxic “friend” at school who basically controlled her life for years, which you can read here. Hopefully her story will help other people that are caught in a similar situation.

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  • Kaye says:

    I just had to comment as I have recently went through the same thing. I am fine with not dating right now, but unfortunately I am at the age where my friends don’t think so. This was a relatable post. I am looking forward to reading more of your posts.
    P.S. I saw your promotion on BFFs, the recommendation was great. 😉

  • Jade Marie says:

    People should be free to date or not date as they choose, it’s each person to their own! I’m glad you enjoyed it so much 🙂 and ah hello from BFFs! 😉

  • Dear Diary: The Family One  | Jade Marie says:

    […] What I’ve Learnt From Tinder […]

  • Ah Tinder… I had it for a while and I met some nice people but no one that I really clicked with so I deleted it! My friend keeps bugging me to get it again because she has had success but I just don’t see the point. Thank you for sharing!

  • Jade Marie says:

    I’m just happy being single and guys on there generally annoy me 🙈 it’s going to take something very special to change my mind haha

  • Jade Marie says:

    Wow it’s took this long to get this comment, I’m actually surprised. Take a joke. I don’t care about sex full stop, I actually hate it after what happened in my last relationship. If you can’t take a joke then my blog really isn’t the right place for you

  • jim bowling says:

    tinder is a horrible place to meet people. trust me, i couldn’t stand it. nice to see an attempt

  • Jade Marie says:

    To be honest I’m not interested in meeting people, I just did it to shut my friend up haha

  • jim bowling says:

    isn’t that called yolo? i went on my wifes tinder once, never again

  • Jade Marie says:

    Haha probably, I don’t speak modern lingo 😂 and yep you go on there as a woman…well let’s just say it’s interesting 😒

  • jim bowling says:

    cant be that bad hahahahahahahaha

  • Jade Marie says:

    Hahaha oh it is!!!

  • 2016: A Positive Review | Jade Marie says:

    […] two of my popular posts from last year were actually The Perks of Being Single and What I’ve Learnt from Tinder…and I actually met Chris through […]

  • I was on Tinder in 2014; my marriage was falling apart and I was pretty much trapped in my house since we only had one car and I wanted to make friends. So I joined Tinder! I was super picky with who I swiped on but it was so fun to wind down and read peoples profiles and swipe lmao! I made some really really good platonic friends ironically that I still talk to now! And I dated a guy who seemed cool but ended up being abusive as hell; other than that I had a pretty tamed Tinder experience compared to everyone else.

    But I think it’s because of what you said — you’re in control of who you let in your life. And I think that goes for life in general. I see a lot of my friends stick around toxic people and wonder why their lives are stressful.

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