Now Tinder is something I swore I would never use. I’ve just no interest in dating- hell I even wrote a post about The Perks of Being Single! I’d heard some right horror stories too and I just couldn’t be bothered with it all.
Buy my friends kept nagging at me to give it a try though and after a while I got fed up of them and downloaded it to shut them up. While it wasn’t half as bad as I expected it to be (probably because I was super picky with who I matched with) its still not something I’m interested in and it’s probably going to get deleted really soon.
To be fair, I’ve only had three bad experiences; one guy had a picture of his penis as his profile photo (and if thats the best looking part of him, I really pity him- I need a brain scrub after seeing that!!), one guy that I don’t even remember matching with messaging me clearly just wanting sex and finally one guy who waited ten days after matching with me to tell me I look like I have Down’s Syndrome. Lovely bloke, can see why he’s single.
But from all this I’ve learnt something that I never expected to; you are in control of the people in your life.
Now obviously there are people you can’t control like people you work with or the people at school with you, but even these you don’t have to talk to outside of those settings if you don’t want to. Both the guy wanting sex and the guy that tried to insult me I simply unmatched and that one act actually made me feel really empowered.
I don’t really know how to explain it better than that.
I realised that I could just delete them, didn’t even have to dignify their comments with an answer. Just delete and move on. It was an amazing feeling and it ended up seeping into other parts of my life; I went onto Facebook and deleted the people I had on there but didn’t actually want. The people I was only keeping them on there because I felt that I had to.
I also realised that I didn’t have to keep in contact with people that weren’t any good for me, even if they were supposed to be friends. There were people that were saying I was “weird” for some of the things I say or do and would say things that made me feel bad about myself. I decided that these aren’t the kind of people I need in my life anymore; I have enough voices in my head telling me that, I don’t need my so-called friends doing it too.
The same with people that only ever talked to me when they want something, I decided to delete their numbers and move on!
I can tell I’ve not blogged all week as this has turned into a bit of a rambly post and I’m actually finding it hard to write what I want to say!
The point I’m trying to make is that you should never feel like you have to keep someone in your life that isn’t building it up. If someone is bringing you down then you need to think about why you’re allowing them into your lives.
One of my friends has given me permission to blog about her experience with a seriously toxic “friend” at school who basically controlled her life for years, which you can read here. Hopefully her story will help other people that are caught in a similar situation.